Story or Series Title: My Mate, My Father, My Love
Fandom: Vampires! ...And Snape-lust. Earth to Suethors: He's a HIGHLIGHT TEXT FOR DEATHLY HALLOWS SPOILERS Lilysexual.Culprit Author's Name: Ebony Rayne ...You know a toxic fic is ahead...
Full Name: Ebony
Full Species: Vampire!Snape!andmanyotherfrickin'idioticthings!Sue
Hair Color (Include Adjectives): Don't know, but as of Chapter 2 (aka third chapter, since the first was a "prolouge") it "formerly" had purple and silver streaks...
Eye Color (Include Adjectives): "freaky purple eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: ...My brain shut down when I looked at the third chapter, so I'm sure she had MANY, but... brain freeze...
Special Possessions: Snape is her STEPFATHER and her mate... I think she got a necklace from Snape as a father-daughter present and ASIUUIBOL BRAIN FAILURE ON SECOND CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!S HAIEOUEHU ED EDIDG&KH
Annoying Origin: I DON'T CAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Well, she's Harry's best friend and Snape is her mate. If she had any more, my brain broke down.
Annoying Special Abilities: "She's just a vampire, a sorceress, and a touch-psycic, also known as an Angel. " JUST?! UHHDWOEHUW GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Other Annoying Traits: I DON'T KNOW AND I DON'T CARE!
Part 1
Part 2
Back in bold. This is Richard, and... *is handed note* New sporkers? Well, help is always appreciated, but who could -
Hello, Richard. It is... wonderful to see you again.
NO. NO.
Richard! It's been a long time! *hugs*
You invited ROY AND ELBE!?
*shrugs* You CANNOT handle this chapter alone. Really.
They're STU AND SUE. I can't STAND them!
Enough of that, Richard. We must get on with this sporking, after all.
Big brother's right. We have to do this, no matter our disagreements in the past. *smiles at Richard*
*seethes*
School was just starting and Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and Severus had been avoiding each other like the plague. They knew it couldn't last forever, they'd have to face the facts eventually, but they'd be damned if they didn't put it off. She's a Sue. She's damned anyway. Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way had moved herself and all her stuff to the
I'm afraid we jumped on this fic a bit late. What's going on?
Sue must mate with Snape, who is her adopted father, or die, because Sue is a vampire, a 'sorceress', and a "touch psycic aka Angel". It's worse than YOU two. At least you're only quarter-dragons.
*blinks* But why? Why Snape?
I asked myself that question, but frankly, I'm not sure either.
Now that school was starting she couldn't put it off any longer Why not? Voldemort always waits until June. If she doesn't snag him by March 31, she'll go psycho. Or something., she had to start the sSueduction of her father Family!Host, and the first thing to do was take off her necklace, something she hadn't done for eleven years.
Not even when she showered?
*shrugs* Sues may not shower. To quote Eragon, Sues smell of "freshly crushed pine needles" even when they've been tortured for months on end.
Yes, but think of the hygiene issues. Not showering is almost as bad as Rose Potter shutting off her menstrual cycles; there may not be an OBVIOUS effect (in the form of stench or bleeding), but ultimately, the health side effects are horrible. Not that Suethors are smart enough to realize that, of course.
The gift was given to her as a father to his daughter mesmerized Canon character to his Sue parasite and she would think of that every time she saw it or felt it around her neck. As much as she hated it because it wasn't SPESHUL enough - sure, sentimental value and all that junk, but the OTHER Sues had necklaces given to them by the Founders and enchanted wth enough magic to kill a Super Saiyan 3 Gotenks!, it had to go.
Here's another thing about this story. She ALWAYS refers to him as 'her father'. Not her stepfather, but her father. It's... unnerving, to say the least.
But why does she have to give it up? Won't she remember that he's her stepfather either way? She's been with him for eleven years - I mean, how can she accept this so easily?
She had two hours before the welcome feast and had to choose the perfect outfit to make her fa--Severus look twice and she knew what had to happen. She had to Polyjuice herself as Lily Evans. Not only did she have to lock up her necklace, her most favorite Most favorite is redundant! Simply say 'favorite'! piece of jewlery JEWELRY. And I thought it was more important than simply "her most favorite piece of jewlery?" *snort* She's a SUE, Elberta. Once the angsting is done, she turns into a petty little cretin, and her true nature as a Self-Insert shows through., but she had to stop being punk which full on sucked. She was a punk? ...calling her "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way" is more appropiate than ever now. I assume she was really crying tears of blood while she was angsting over the whole 'mate' business? Her fath--Dammit! I agree, but let me rephrase that. MAY YOG-SOTHOTH TAKE THIS STORY! Severus had always been slightly creeped out by the dark eyeliner, multiple chains, and tight, skanky corsets. She actually says 'skanky'. So, she REALIZES she looked like an utter slut... but LIKED it? WHORE! SLUT! TROLLOP! He always hated how she flaunted her curves and...'assets' I thought the 'curves' WERE the 'assets'! What's the difference? Given this Sue's behavior, I'm not sure I want to know. and, even though he wore leather and rode a Harley *bursts into weeping for the canon* *hugs her while also crying* *looks at fic with raised eyebrows*, (she knew he would love that birthday present when she bought it
I would also appreciate the Sue "buying it". For those of you who are dense, I mean it in the-
"Buying the farm" sense.
Roy, you're brilliant!
*HEADNECRONOMICON*
), he'd always been a sucker for the fair maiden type. WHHHHHHAAAAT?! WHAT THE CITY OF RL'YEH?! *gives Molly Weasley her Capslock of Rage back* She never knew why, but she'd always thought it was cute.
It is incredibly touching how he loves Lily until he dies, but... I wouldn't exactly call her the "fair maiden type".
Elbe, I'm sick of telling you to expect canon recognition from Suethors. Especially the type of canon that tramples on their fantasies like a dragon dancing.
Cease your species-ism, Richard. Dragons can dance quite well. And stop laughing.
Now, however, when she would have to take her look and force a 180 *is confused*, she hated that he was such an 'opposites attract' person He and Lily were hardly "opposites attract" - House stereotypes and bullying may have forced them apart, though. Speculating on Snape/Lily has no place in a spork, except to point out that J.K.R. destroyed all possiblities of canon-compliant Snape!Sues. Not that the Suethors ever cared for canon, but.... Why couldn't he be a sucker for biker chicks? Because he's in love with Lily, who is not a biker chick? She could've dealt with that. But she had to 'please her mate.' Damn instincts.
... *runs away to be ill* *comes back almost in tears* Why? Why can't she be true to herself? This is just wrong, it's preaching medieval-style attitudes towards relationships... Why can't she just -
Suelogic. It's a sick little fantasy world, isn't it?